What if pigs could fly?

In which I attempt to answer the age-old porcine question.

The idiom “when pigs fly” is a phrase commonly used to refer to something that will never happen. According to all known laws of aviation, this is something of an impossibility, hence the absolutist nature of the idiom. However, some brave souls dared to wonder: what would happen if pigs were able to fly? Due to the nature of this question, many possible answers could spring forth, but two main subcategories of flying pig hypotheticals seem most important: what would happen if every pig on the planet sprouted wings and developed flight instincts today, or what if it had happened thousands of years ago? What would be the consequences of this on our modern-day society?

The first option, while impossible, is certainly the more chaotic scenario of the two. Pigpens are not primarily known for their ability to successfully cage animals that are capable of substantial vertical maneuvering. The pigs kept in enclosures without rooves would surely escape, and proceed to wreak havoc on the surrounding areas.

As some of the most intelligent animals on the planet, pigs are naturally curious and able to solve rudimentary puzzles, like door handles. Given that pigs will revert back to a more feral and wild state after a few months when let loose into the wild, the newly winged pigs would undoubtably do the same. Humanity might not be the top of the food chain anymore, given that these hypothetical pigs would probably be much nimbler in the air than on the ground. Pigs are voracious omnivores, and, as seen in the behavior of the javelina, or peccary, in the southern regions of North America, it is a proven fact that pigs and pig-like creatures would bond together in packs to hunt and terrorize humans. Although this vivid image of a pig-pocalypse seems frighteningly real, the possibility of pigs being given wings by some greater power to induce an almost karmic reckoning upon humanity is next to zero. However, the world wouldn’t be flung into such a state of panic if pigs had naturally evolved to have wings and the ability to fly.

If pigs had naturally evolved to fly, then their body structure would be drastically different. In order to fly, pigs would need very large wings at their current body weight. Even a relatively small wild pig, weighing only around 150 kg, would need a wingspan of about 3150 cm, or 31.5 meters. For reference, the average weight of a human adult is 62 kg, and that of the largest bird that is capable of flight (the great bustard) is a measly 15 kg. From this data, we can safely conclude that pigs would have probably evolved to have smaller bodies, or at least more muscular ones. The reason the great bustard is the largest bird capable of flight is partly because the ostrich, the largest bird in the world, “lack(s) the keel that anchors the strong pectoral muscles required for flight,” according to National Geographic. In addition to this, pigs’ bones would most likely be hollow, like those of birds, allowing them to take in enough oxygen to sustain their breathing while flying.

So, with the combination of smaller body, hollow bones, and large wings, these hypothetical evolutionary anomalies would be incredibly different to both the previous scenario and real-life pigs. It’s doubtful whether they would even be classified as the same animal. However, these flying pigs would also be a menacing predator, as a large, intelligent, flying omnivore.

If pigs were able to fly, they would be a much larger threat to humanity. However, humans have a very obvious track record of domesticating large and dangerous predators, so the pigs probably wouldn't pose that much of a problem. As soon as people were able to capture pigs in this hypothetical earth, they probably would have bred them to be too heavy to fly, or have too weak of wings to do much more than provide meat.

To summarize, there is no way a pig should be able to fly. Its wings would be too small to get its fat little body off the ground. Since pigs are smart, they’ve probably realized this, and have abandoned the flight plan in their inevitable efforts to conquer the earth.

---

Sources

Why Fly? Flightless Bird Mystery Solved, Say Evolutionary Scientists By Alison Fromme, 2014

Dalmatian Pelican By Jimfbleak, 2003

Ostriches, Falcons, Albatrosses and Other Great Birds By Elaina Zachos, 2018

What is a javelina? How does it differ from a wild boar? By Carpe Sus, January 7 2020

Top 15 Largest Birds in the World by M Özgür Nevres, September 29 2018

Why Do Birds Have Hollow Bones? By Ashley Hamer, August 1 2019